My Dad and His Enormous Head

Here I am with my human. As you can see, he has a ridonkulously ginormous head and a beard to make it look even bigger.
Charles says that he isn't going to trim his beard or cut his hair until he loses 3 and half more pounds. I like his long beard. It is fun to chew on and sometimes there's even food in there for me. Yay!
Mommy likes to hold me and brush me with a weird wire brush and I wriggle when she does that. I still haven't decided if I like it or not. Charles says when Sarah does that to him, he is usually able to get away - although sometimes she barks at him and he has to get groomed even though he doesn't like it much.
Charles and I have a lot in common. We both like to eat meat, although Charles doesn't have as many raw chicken necks as I do most days. And we both think Sarah is cuddly and want her to be happy.

The bad smell

There was a bad smell in the house yesterday. It was caused when Mark knocked over a can of gas line antifreeze and it spilled all over the basement steps. Daddy got a headache and had to sleep at his friends last night. I missed him. When he came to pick mommy and Mark up this morning I made sure to wag my tail at him so he'd cheer up. I sure hope he is sleeping at home tonight! Before we both go to bed, we sometimes look at each other for a while. Sometimes when we wake up in the middle of the night we look at each other and then decide if we're going to go out for a pee together.
Anyway, the rule seems to be that if it gets cold, Sarah goes to sleep at her friend's house and if there's a bad smell Charles goes to sleep at his friends house. But I think it has to be a certain kind of bad smell, because some nights Charles makes a bad smell and he doesn't go anywhere. Although I've heard that if Charles makes too many bad smells he has to go sleep on the couch. Also that Sarah never makes bad smells. And even when she does, it doesn't count.
Because I am a very good boy, I have already learned to sit and play fetch, and I have also learned that the smarter you are, the more likely you are to be a Habs fan. So I am one.
I sleep through the night, and only make a mess in the house when my humans make a mistake and don't let me out.
My parents got me some new food. They have been trying all kinds to see if there's a raw food I like better than others. I am very fond of chicken. Daddy says that's a relief because the bison is pretty expensive. He says he doesn't get to eat bison every day, so why should I? I think Daddy is cranky because he hasn't been eating well.
My humans have been inspired by me and are about to begin walking every day. Although they are silly so they walk on a treadmill, in the same place. So they walk, but they don't actually get anywhere. As I've said before, humans are a little bit crazy. That's why we dogs have to stick around and take care of them.
Lucy has been feeling better and easting better lately. When we are together she gets to wear a special kind of collar or mask called a muzzle. Charles says when she wears that her name is Hannibal Lector. I think humans have too many names for things.
Tomorrow is Chinese New Year. My mommy and daddy are going to go to a special dinner. I hope they are not too late getting home. Weekends are the best!

It's good to have a human

My Mom is very cuddly and I like her a lot. This past weekend I had a very big Saturday. I went to the house of my human's friends and met their girl Emily, who was very nice. I also saw a cat.
Then I took my humans to the pet store. It's important to introduce your humans to other humans, so that they will be socialized to like other humans. Everyone said I was a super good boy, and I got signed up for school. Yay! I am going to be the bestest boy ever in school, you'll see. My human Charles was given a button with both our pictures on it. This is important for him to wear so that people can know he's my human. Dogs can tell of course because I make sure he smells like me, but humans have terrible noses. Really just useless. But what do you expect they have hardly any sort of a snout at all. Well Charles has a not bad snout for a human but still.
What else? Oh yes, I am learning how to get humans to give me treats, and you won't believe how easy it is. First you just look at them, then when they say sit you just sit down and next thing you know, treat! I mean, c'mon how easy is that.
I am also training my humans to play fetch and they are getting better and better at it. We started just playing it inside with small distances but lately we've been having big games and the humans are getting in better shape so now they are throwing the duck further and further. This is fun, and of course it gives Charles more exercise so he's lost another pound, that's 3 so far. I am also up a pound, I am getting bigger and bigger. So now Charles weighs only 36 times as much as I. Great progress!
Oh and I am also getting my bark on. I try to let them know when I want to play or when something's going on. I know my humans are worried I will be too noisy when we move to the condo. I haven't forgot that I'm here rather than my brother because I was the quiet one. Charles went to the store to see if they had something to help keep me quiet, but they said I should be allowed six months to get the hang of my voice until they buy anything like that. Yay! Or should I say, Woof!

I'm too fast for you and your camera

Ha, ha, ha! You can't catch me!
I'm getting the hang of my legs and I have got super energy! If you think I'm going to sit still for pictures, you're crazy! I have got stuff to do!

The Cold

I have special fur, which has hollow tubes in it. These keep me warm in winter and cool in summer. As we know, humans are not as well designed as dogs. Generally their hair doesn't help them regulate temperature very well, and I have learned from watching them put in clothes than patches of it obviously do no good at all, because they cover them with two layers of clothing just because they look so ridiculous.
It's been extra cold lately, which I've compensated for by trying to do my business outside as quickly as possible. The other day I finished up and made a leap for the door. I am learning how to jump. Jumping is fun. Jumping into closed doors is not, just take my word on that.
Anyway, my humans "heat" their house with a combination of wood, oil, and electricity. In order for them to heat with oil, they have to make sure the oil tank doesn't become empty. This is Charles' job. Charles forgot to do his job. Then Sarah was not happy. Sarah ordered oil to be delivered, even though that costs a $100 more, rather than wait for Saturday. Sarah also decided to spend the next couple of days at her friend Alicia's, even after the oil got delivered for an extra $100. Charles wanted to save the $100 and wait for the regular Saturday delivery. Last night he and Mark kept the house nice and warm with the wood and the electric, but Sarah still spent the $100 to get oil delivered and still went away for a couple of days. Charles tells me $100 buys a lot of dog food. Also that he misses Sarah. And also that because he didn't do his job, he doesn't have a leg to stand on. I think because humans only have 2 legs instead of 4, they notice more when they don't have one to stand on. This of course is another way we dogs are better.
When the oil got delivered it filled the tank with 853 litres. The oil man asked if we needed help to bleed the furnace so it will work. Mark said we didn't because he and Charles have made the furnace work many times. This time they haven't been able to. So now they have a tank full of oil but still can't make the furnace work. Maybe they will pay another $100 to have a man come and make the furnace work. Charles says weeks like this make him happy we are all moving into a condo in June.
To add to the happiness in the house, the water has also become all muddy. The hot water was muddy and then it stopped completely. The Village of Fredericton Junction says this is not their fault. Charles is mad at NB Power because they own the hot water tank but won't come out to service it. Charles made a New Year's resolution not to use foul language as much in 2010. Charles says that if he'd known this was going to happen, he'd have made a different New Year's resolution, but now he's stuck with this resolution. So he doesn't have a goshdarn leg to stand on.

Getting my tail to work

Towards the last part of last week, my tail started moving around. Previous to that, it just sort of sat there. Occasionally it would do something for no reason whatsoever. But now I'm starting to get the hang of it.
Lucy tends to keep hers tucked under her at all times. I think it's because she's cold, but it maybe because she's afraid of me. I learned the other day that when Lucy was a very young puppy another dog bit her, so now she's afraid of dogs. Even me. That makes me sad. But maybe she's just cold. I'll say more about cold soon.
Anyway, one thing I've learned and my next piece of advice to my fellow dogs is: learn how to wag your tail, because it makes your humans absolutely go nuts with happiness. Especially the ones called Sarah.

The Book of Eli

On Sunday (after church fittingly enough) my human Charles went to see The Book of Eli with his friend Mark. My human Sarah went to see When in Rome or something like that starring Kristen Bell. She says When in Rome wasn't a very good movie. Also, it didn't have any dogs in it. So there you are.
Charles really really liked The Book of Eli. He likes movies set in the post-apocalyptic world, like Mad Max. In this movie you can tell something terrible has happened because the ground is all dry and brown. Apparently there was a war and all the dogs were killed, so you can see that this is an absolutely terrible situation. Also, a lot of the humans were killed too. We meet Eli, played by Denzel Washington. In the opening scene, he shoots a cat with a bow and arrow. Later on, he eats the cat. So this is how we know from the beginning of the movie that he is the Hero. Later in the film there is a poster on the wall for a movie called A Boy and His Dog. It is an odd movie and not to everyone's taste, but it is post-apocalyptic and it very correctly shows that dogs are smarter than people, and at the end of it Don Johnson has a difficult decision to make which he makes correctly, so as a dog I have to give it a 3 and half dew-claws up. I think Book of Eli may be 4 dew-claws up. It might have benefited if Denzel had a good dog actor with him to play off of, like Will Smith had in his post-apocalyptic movie, I am Legend. But if you want to make the audience feel like the world is in serious trouble, having no dogs is a pretty good place to start. Shooting everything in sepia tones helps too, although humans see too many colours anyway.
While my humans were away at the movie, I stayed at home and was good. It is important that you get your humans used to being away from you for longer periods of time, otherwise they will not be able to succeed at their jobs and bring home treats and toys and food. My humans were away for four hours and although they were very excited and relieved to see me when they got back, I think they did pretty well to be gone for that long. Then we had the rest of the day together.
I am really enjoying running now and I hope my humans are noticing and will soon put a leash on me so that they don't get lost. Last night just before bed I also had a super 5 minutes of going nuts, just to burn off energy. Wow, is that super fun! But I did tire my humans out, so they went to bed early.
Charles went out again and when he came home at night, he had learned that if you have an 11 card trump fit and are missing the King, the correct thing to do is play for the drop. He didn't so 6 diamonds went down, which cost him 26 IMPs on the board. He still has a lot to learn about bridge. But the good news is that he is showing great signs of getting the hang of Fetch, which to my way of thinking is a lot more fun than Bridge anyways.

Weekend and Food

This weekend, I got my humans to drive me to meet their parents. I got to meet Charles' mother. Charles' mother loves dogs in a way that very few people do. For example, she says things like "I hate dogs", which to a less sophisticated person might make you think she actually doesn't like dogs. But I could tell she liked me.
I am very good at going in the car now, and Sarah was holding me for a lot of trip, so there was no real reason to throw up on anyone. I got to listen to the GPS give directions in the car, but everyone agreed that he was kind of pushy when it came time to "board ferry". I got to see the house where Charles grew up, and also I got to play with Ava and Daniel, which was super super fun. Daniel's sweater in particular was dangly in exactly the right way to grab on to. I still like biting things.
I also got to play outside in a driveway which is big and plowed, so I could really build up some speed! My humans are impressed at how fast I can go. When I get going my fur gets pulled back so the effect is pretty cool.
Charles ate some of his mother's cooking, a pulled pork sandwich and blueberry dessert, and gained 4 pounds in two days. This is also because Friday was Mark's birthday, so to celebrate Charles ate 4 hamburgers, an order of onion rings, some potato chips and a very tiny piece of birthday cake. You see, dogs understand that really the only thing to eat is meat, and lots of it. Humans get confused by how good bread tastes, and then they gain 4 pounds in two days. Once Charles stopped eating bread, he lost 1 and half pounds right away, in one day. That might seem a lot to you or me, but when you are big like Charles, parting your hair on the other side can cause you to lose half a pound right there.
Anyway, to prove how much I love Charles' mom, I didn't pee on her carpet. Although I like carpet, it is way better to run on than floors because you can keep your legs under you. My house has now carpet because it makes Charles' nose stuffed. While I wish we had carpets, I have to agree that if you don't have your nose unstuffed, radical steps must be taken. With a stuffed-up nose, it's impossible to tell whose butt belongs to whom, and that can lead to misunderstandings.